I’ve not posted in a while, once since August 1 and that was almost a test post on something just too odd not to share. What’s even more unusual is that I’ve not shot that much over the last month. In fact unless a possible shoot on the 30th comes about, I will not have taken a single photograph this month. In fact I’ve only done one shoot since that last entry and that one was just a few days later. It was a great shoot with two models that I’ve worked with before, though not together. I enjoyed it and got some great photos from it.
I fully expected to take a pause for a bit after that shoot as I had a trip out of town followed by a very hectic period in my “real” job. I figured that I’d be back well before the end of the month. Then, some things happened. Some were related to photography and some related to my personal life. There were broken promises and lies. There was even a bit of betrayal. There had been some good things for me this summer, but also a few painful ones and some stressful moments.
Finally I’d just reached a point where picking up the camera didn’t seem like the most fun idea. In fact I struggled through to finish processing photos that I still owed some models from the last few weeks because I just didn’t have any enthusiasm. It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy photography, it was more like I just wasn’t enjoying what I was doing.
I’ve not enjoyed my work as much this year. I’ve shot more than ever and accomplished some ideas that I’ve wanted to do. The problem is that most of the best work from this summer I couldn’t show here because when I started I made the decision to keep the site PG-13. I don’t think that was a good choice. I do all kinds or work, but I came into photography from sketching and drawing nudes and truly that’s where my interest lies. I might get paid more to take a senior photo type portrait, but in the end I want to create art that I’m proud of and my passion there truly lies in the nude. By denying those on this site, I think I’m leaving out an important part of myself and my work.
In the end I decided to take some time off. One good thing about the fact that I don’t make my living as a photographer is that I have that option, to just not do it for a while. It helps to clear the mind and I’ve done it before. The last time I did it I decided to focus more on my non-nude work. I think I may have gone too far in that direction though. Go to Hugh MacLeod’s page about his book Ignore Everyone: And 39 Other Keys to Creativity (which I have sitting next to me half read right now and recommend). Read item #7 under Keep Your Day Job (it’s number eight in the book) on the Sex & Cash theory. In short you have two kinds of work, the sexy, creative kind (sex) and the kind that pays the bills (cash). I have a good full time job that gives me a bit of both. I do other side work for the cash part. I need photography to feed that creative side.
So I’m going to change my direction a bit.
- I’m going to focus more on nude work, especially artistic nudes, but will still will do the other things. I’m looking for balance.
- I’m going to contact some models that I enjoyed working with and not worked with in a while
- I’m going to go back to some projects that I’d put on hold waiting for people who didn’t deliver
- I’m going to ignore the assholes
This web site isn’t going away. I’m not sure where it will end up right now. It may lose the PG-13 rating and start showing more skin. I have another domain name that I picked up for one of the projects I abandoned when the model I’d hoped to work with it on basically bailed on me after rescheduling more times that I ever should have put up with. It might become the nude site and I leave this one PG-13. This is a work in progress, but I don’t think things are going to be quiet or boring for a while.