This post is not photography related even though there’s a photo below. It’s also probably the most personal thing I’ve posted here. If you’re here for photos and happy subjects, skip this one.
This blog has been quiet of late, and I shared the reason the reason this summer. That post ended on a somewhat optimistic tone, and that came to pass. My father became quite ill unexpectedly early in July. He recovered from the initial illness and was able to return home in August.
It didn’t last.
He went back into the hospital in September, from complications of that original illness. He never came back home. On Saturday my father passed away at the age of 68.
He had entered a cycle where every time he was able to get over one problem, another set in. He kept getting weaker. Twice in the last month I really didn’t know if he’d make it through the night. He’d recovered, but each decline began to get lower than the recovery. Much of the last months has been spent trying to maintain work and what life I could while also dealing with his health problems. He’d improved over the last couple weeks so even though he was still quite sick, his passing came as a shock.
I’m fortunate enough to have a close and supportive family. My father’s illness was hard. Losing him is the hardest thing I’ve ever dealt with. I did get to spend a good amount of time with him the last months, which I’m thankful for. I saw him two days before he passed away when I had my last conversation with him. I loved him, and I’ll miss him.
I’ll be taking the next few weeks off from photography to help with settling his affairs, helping my mother begin to move on after more than forty years with my father, and to get myself back into the mental state to create again. I plan to start shooting again roughly in mid-December. There is a long backlog of shoots from summer and fall that I’ve not edited due to lack of time and often energy. Look for more content again as I move into the New Year.
And if you have a family member or friend that you’ve not spoken with in a while, give them a call and chat a bit.